Τετάρτη 5 Μαρτίου 2014

Ο κήπος (The garden).

Αντικατοπτρισμοί του ουρανού σε τόνους ασφάλτου. Μαύρο και γκρι με μια ιδέα γαλανού.
Ο ήλιος εδώ δεν ανατέλλει πια. Κάνει διακοπές στις μικρότερες μοίρες των τροπικών. Ξαπλωμένος σε μια παραλία με κοράλλια και χρυσή άμμο. Ο ήλιος αποφάσισε να κάνει εκπτώσεις και να μας αφήσει να ασφυκτιούμε με εναλλαγές από μαύρο σε γκρι και τούμπαλιν.
Στα μεγάλα σκοτάδια παίρνονται οι χειρότερες αποφάσεις που είναι πάντα και οι πιο σωστές. Εδώ δε χωράνε συναισθηματισμοί. Εδώ είσαι εσύ και το θηρίο που κρύβεις τόσο καλά μέσα σου. Εδώ, υπό το άγρυπνο βλέμμα του του μαύρου θόλου, είσαι μόνος σου.
Τα πουλιά πετούν χαμηλά γιατί φοβούνται την βροχή. Μα πιο πολύ ίσως να φοβούνται το μαύρο πέπλο του θανάτου που μας σκεπάζει. Η γη ουρλιάζει για βοήθεια. Κι εμείς ατάραχοι συνεχίζουμε να μπήγουμε τη βελόνα πιο βαθιά στη σάρκα της.
Σήμερα το αίμα δε σταματούσε να τρέχει από την τσακισμένη φλέβα.
Σήμερα πέθανα σε κάποιο ιατρείο προσπαθώντας να σωθώ. Σήμερα είναι η μέρα μηδέν.
Σήμερα ανάμεσα σε απαθείς καλημέρες και μισοπεθαμένα αντίο πνίγηκε η ελπίδα. Από μια γουλιά καφέ και μια τζούρα νικοτίνης.
Ανάμεσα στην πεταλούδα που αναρροφά το αίμα μου και την σπασμένη φλέβα, εκεί, η αρρώστια μου γελά χωρίς να με λογαριάζει.
Σήμερα μαζί με μένα, πέθανες κι εσύ.

Reflections of the sky on tones of concrete. Black and grey with a possibility of light-blue.
The sun is never rising here anymore. It's on vacations in another country, laying down on a beach with corals and golden sand. The sun decided to make cuts and to let us drowning in between the black and grey skies. In the darkest times one makes the worst decisions that apparently are the best ones. No time for one to be sensitive. Here, it's only you and the beast that you're hiding so carefully inside you. Here, under the never-sleeping glare of the dark sky, you are completely abandoned. The birds don't fly too high because they're scared from the rain; but even more they're scared from the black veil that is covering us.
The earth is screaming for help and we are continuing to push the needle deeper to its flesh.
Today the blood couldn't stop leaking out from the wounded vein. Today I died in a doctor's office while I was waiting to be saved. Today is day zero.
Today between the insensitive good morinings and the dead goodbyes the hope died; it drowned in a drop of caffeine and an inhale of nicotine. Between the needle that sucks my blood and my damaged vein, there, my disease is laughing without carrying about me.
Today, when I died, you died with me.

Τρίτη 4 Μαρτίου 2014

Δευτέρα 3 Μαρτίου 2014

Dear stranger (the sea)

Dear stranger,

Don't waste your days waiting for the summer to come. Enjoy the winters that are given to you, no matter how dark they seem. And remember that if you survive the winter, I reassure you that the summer will be your resurrection.
Look towards the sea, because the sea is the place you'll find the escape that you're seeking. Even in the winter. 
And please keep in mind that whenever you reach the sea-shore, I will be standing on another shore miles away, but it will be as if we're together.

I wish you well,
-A

(Revised 11/02/2018)

Σάββατο 1 Μαρτίου 2014

Blue is the warmest color.

I looked out of the window. Everything was blue. Blue. The mountain was white-blue and the sky was dark-blue and full of even darker blue clouds. It was that time of the day that I started to think about you. And as the clouds were moving from one side of the frame to the other, they reminded me the way you're coming and going. Unexpected. And then I remembered the movie I saw the other day; Blue is the warmest color. And how much I cried because I made the correlation between my life and hers. And after a while I looked again outside of the window and I saw the trees that were dancing as the wind was commanding them to dance. Unwillingly. And I remembered you again and how you made my heart dance in a very strange and twisted way every time I saw you. 
I looked again outside. But this time the sky was even darker and a light was glowing from the mountains. And I thought for one moment that there might be hope at the end of this road that we have taken. But simultaneously I remembered what I have promised myself; never hope for something you want desperately to happen, the only thing you're gonna get is disappointment.
And I thought about you again.

You were my blue that gradually faded out. 
Like the color of the curtain in my room.

Always yours,
A.